Wisdom Michael has taught his children:

1.Shatter should not be used to crack nuts.
2.Practicing levitation indoors can lead to concussions.
3.Breaking the fourth wall should be a result of ironic writing, not speed enhancements.
4.Using essence to heal a paper cut is just asking for karmic retribution.
5.“I couldn't find the key” is not a good reason to upheave a building from its foundation.
6.10,000 lumen light spells tend to result in brain bleeding and too many questions.
7.Yes, there is an arcanum for lie detection.
8.Attempting to pickpocket with telekinesis without practice is like playing fetch with an elephant indoors, only the elephant will do less damage.
9.Animal magnetism does require judicious application.
10.Using kinesthetic touch while riding a bicycle blindfolded does not simulate being Uncle Morgan.
11.Dungeons and Dragons is a neat roleplaying game, not a beginners guide to requisite spells.
12.Ditto for Magic: the Gathering
13.Don't even mention Ars Magica
14.Dad does not like being compared to Merlin.
15.Ditto for Gandalf.
16.Dad smacking us on the head to train us to concentrate while casting is not equivelent to sucker punching him in the groin to see if he continues incanting. (Side note: he does.)
17.Don't use the dog's water bowl for divinations.
18.David Copperfield is a stage illusionist, not a mage that could kick Dad's butt.
19.There's a reason we're not allowed to summon anything larger than our fist.
20.Uncle Morgan will not manifest mind knives just to slice fruit, nor will Dad use divination to figure out who's going to win the ball game.
21.No casting any spell that requires human body parts without Dad's permission,
22.Just because Dad can bend time and space to maintain someone's sanity, does not mean we're allowed to do it for the book report we forgot about.
23.Interrupting an hour-long cantation at the fifty-ninth minute is not funny.
24.Casting stone flesh on overhead creatures is inherently dangerous.
25.No matter how good we may get; don't challenge Dad to a mage duel. He can use swords.