Author Note 3

I have told some of my private universe's stories over the course of twenty plus years. The stories have mutated and changed and their focus has become sharper as I became older. My original protagonist was Valerie and she was very much a Mary Sue (at 14, my writing was still very self-centered). But over time, after meeting other, far more interesting people, I added to my stable of regulars in the symphony. Michael and Morgan are the amalgam of, and homages to, some of the interesting men I've met. Their very existence is based on two 'men' I met while traveling in my dreams, although they are far less 'nice' than the fictional versions of themselves. The originals are a mated pair and I can never remember their names after I've awoken, so I attached names of people I knew in real life to them. As their race only has one gender, calling them homosexual, while technically correct, would also be a bit misinforming.

The fictional Morgan is named for Morgan Pellowski, a charismatic friend of a friend who unfortunately had his young life snuffed out in an auto accident. He was studying to be an actor and playwright and I liked watching how he could transform himself onstage into a very different persona.

Michael is a little more confusing. The surname Wallace is a faux-Anglicization of Mike Wallach, a classmate from high school. Wallach was from a different neighborhood and far different upbringing than I was. He was often seen as buffoonish by the students from Branchburg (which is from whence I came). I changed Wallach to Wallace to sound more English. It actually isn't, but I liked the more Norman sound of the name (which technically made it less English). Michael Wallace was originally going to be a more diffident, less relaxed character, but for the influence of another Michael – Michael Pipher.

Mr. Pipher was another 'march to the beat of a different drummer' person. He would show up each day to public school in a business suit. The rumors had it that his father was wealthy and this was his way of showing it off. Their were other whispers about his mental faculties. I didn't know much about him, but for a year I saw him every day, first period, strolling by in a suit. He always seemed to have the fictional Michael's dashing smile and devil-may-care attitude towards what everyone else thought of him. I personally think he cut a handsome profile and admired him for being different. And I think he knew the truth about himself (that he liked the way he looked and was confident in himself) despite all the whispers.

And, lastly, I was myself in a cross-dressing phase and sometimes wore a men's dress shirt and tie to school, with even nastier whispers attached. My parents and peers disapproved of my outright display of faux masculinity with the usual result of their disapproval validating my choice. Where am I in that mishmosh of the fictional brothers' heads? Well, Morgan's catatonic schizophrenia is based off my time in a mental institution. I am also the source of his ridiculously high pain threshold. And, Michael? Strangely enough, I come out in his sexuality. His archaic but modern approach to women was partially cultivated by my posing online as a man and having cybersex with women. As Michael would put it: “Only go an inch beyond what she will obtusely let you.” He will also never be the one to suggest sex. If she brings it up, he will say yes, but only then. Michael masturbates a lot, too, but he'd rather relieve his sexual frustration alone than be thought of as anything less than a gentleman. His reputation as a ladykiller is just that: a reputation.